do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
