Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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