Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
