doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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