Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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