The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
