THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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