I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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