just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
