Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
