Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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