I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
