I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
you made out with another girl for some wings
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
