U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Randomize
