Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
