Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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