if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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