You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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