it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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