I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
