Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
