oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
