I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
