and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
