well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
