I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
