At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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