Porn is love you can see.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
