last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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