I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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