Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Randomize
