Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
