Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
