Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
