so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
