Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
