no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
