After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
