Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
