I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
