Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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