Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
