tonight lets celebrate not being married
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize