There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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