No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
