Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
