Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
