6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
