the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
