yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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