Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
