omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
