You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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